


Thank You, Sweet Twilight

by TerraCody



Series: The Night Before the Decisive Battle [12]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions/Golden Deer Joint Route, Headcanon, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Older Man/Younger Woman, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Seduction, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26070589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraCody/pseuds/TerraCody
Summary: Dorothea POV. Sequel to Farewell to the Native Hills and Fields. Dorothea fashioned herself as an assertive woman who always strove to get what she wanted. But on the eve of the decisive battle, she struggles to gain the courage to confess her feelings to the man who captured her heart.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/Hanneman von Essar, Linhardt von Hevring/Lysithea von Ordelia, Petra Macneary/Ignatz Victor, Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc/Bernadetta von Varley
Series: The Night Before the Decisive Battle [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841431
Kudos: 15





	Thank You, Sweet Twilight

**Author's Note:**

> Fire Emblem: Three Houses and its characters are the property of Intelligent Systems, Koei Tecmo, and Nintendo. This ironically was the first fanfic I drafted for the Hanneman/Dorothea pairing. However after outlining this story I realized that I wanted to get inside Hanneman’s head and explore his feelings first, so obviously this got put on the shelf. After the tease of Farewell to the Native Hills and Fields, here is the story where Dorothea and Hanneman become a couple.
> 
> I added a few touches in the story that I felt should have been present in canon, such as Edelgard’s room being stripped bare. Seeing Hubert and her rooms untouched outside of the Crimson Flower route felt odd to me. I mean, logically the Church would search both of their rooms for evidence after the revelations of Chapter 11 of White Clouds. But, meh. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story.

_29th of the Verdant Rain Moon, Imperial Year 1186_

I raised my hand to knock on the door, but hesitated. I had woken up before dawn, but had gotten very little sleep the night before. My stomach had been nothing but knots since last night. 

_And they might be upset with me that I’ve come to see them so early. But I—I have to talk to **someone** about this..._

I finally gathered my nerve and knocked sharply. “Professor Manuela?” I called out. I didn’t get an immediate response, which didn’t surprise me, however I hear nothing on the other side of the door. I knocked again, a little harder. “Professor Manuela?”

”Manuela didn’t come back last night.”

I looked to my right and saw Shamir Nevrand exiting her room and locking the door. “You might want to check the Central Building. She may have passed out in the Infirmary, as she done so before.”

”I-I actually checked the Infirmary first and she wasn’t there,” I said tentatively.

Shamir paused for a long moment before shrugging. “Then she spent the night with someone.”

I felt heat on my face from her stoic response. She didn’t bat an eye as she walked past me. “You’re not a student anymore, but this is still the Faculty Dormitories and we do prefer our privacy.”

I nodded. “Y...Yes. I’ll look for her later then.”

Shamir shrugged, but I noticed that she didn’t immediately leave. “You’re all right, right? I saw you Black Eagles after the Professor took you on that mission, and I know it wasn’t as easy as she had intended it.”

”Yes. I think she intended on getting us out of Garreg Mach for the day to get our minds off...tomorrow’s march.” I swallowed thickly and looked down.

”And you faced a far greater number of enemies than you had expected.”

”Well we were ambushed, but fighting bandits kept me occupied for a few hours so I can’t complain.”

”Hmm.” Shamir turned away again. I found myself smiling. “Thank you for your concern, Shamir.”

”I wasn’t concerned. But it was thoughtful of Professor Byleth to think of your wellbeing that way. Caspar was actually happy with the outcome regardless.”

”Oh, you spoke to Caspar about the mission?”

“It was impossible to ignore his enthusiasm when he wouldn’t stop talking about it.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Hey Shamir, have you thought of being a singer?”

Shamir narrowed her eyes at me. “Pardon?”

”I think your voice sounds lyrically beautifully when you talk. If you were to change careers from mercenary to singer, I think you would do well.”

Shamir shook her head. “I have no interest in that.”

She briskly walked away and I couldn’t help but laughed. When I was left alone in the hallway though, the laughter faded as the discomfort settled in my stomach. I hugged my arms and leaned forward. _...I need help. I need someone to talk to. If Manuela spent the night with someone, I don’t want to disturb her. But then who could I talk to about this?_

I lifted my head then. “Ingrid.”

* * *

When I peeked inside Ingrid’s room, I was disappointed to see it empty. I sighed quietly and closed the door. _Well, if she’s not here then she’s probably in the Knight’s Hall. Or Dining Hall. Or Classroom. Meaning, just about anywhere but here._

I turned towards the stairs but stopped. My gaze lingered up the hall of the Second Floor Dormitories. I looked away and back towards the stairs. _Don’t bother, Dorothea. It’ll be more trouble than it’s worth._

I shook my head, but turned away from the stairs and started heading down the hall. I ascended the stairs and walked past Hilda’s room, but stopped in front of Edelgard’s room. My heart ached as I looked towards her door. Unable to help myself, I opened the door and peeked inside. Edelgard of course was not in there, but her room was still in disarray. After she was exposed as the Flame Emperor five years ago, Seteth and Church soldiers raided her room and raided Hubert’s room, trying to find clues of what their plans were. But Edelgard and Hubert had left nothing behind, and the Church left their room with clothes, tools, and papers scattered all over the floor. And with the invasion of Imperial soldiers to Garreg Mach, nobody bothered to clean up the mess left behind.

_I liked you, Edie. I thought you were a good friend. You were beautiful and confident...heh, you still are. But your ambitions have caused so much chaos and death. I don’t think I could ever forgive you for what you’ve done..._

I closed her door with a heavy heart and looked back down the hallway. I didn’t bother stopping at Hubert’s door because I knew that his room was also left a mess. I walked past Caspar’s room and then stopped at the next door. I did a few breathing exercises to compose myself and to help me regain my confidence. It didn’t completely work, but I was able to put up a facade as I reached up to knock.

”Yes, who is it?” The door opened and I smiled at Ferdinand von Aegir. It was not so difficult recently to give him genuine smiles, and I was moved when I saw his face light up upon seeing me. “Ah, Dorothea!”

”Hello, Ferdie,” I greeted him. “Still pouting in your room today?”

Ferdie winced, and he rubbed at his head awkwardly. “I am not pouting, Dorothea. I just have not been inclined to show my face much this month. Teacher’s mission yesterday helped my confidence, but...”

I looked him over as his voice trailed off and he didn’t finish his words. “Well?” I asked him. “Isn’t a proper noble like yourself going to invite a lady into his room?”

Ferdie flushed, but he stepped back and waved to me. “O-Of course. Please come inside. I apologize for the mess, I am still polishing my armor for tomorrow’s battle.”

I took a seat at his desk and arched a brow as I saw the pile of armor near his windowsill. Ferdie went to the table at the head of his bed. “Please excuse me. Had I known that you would be stopping by I would have brewed tea. Is water okay?”

”Water is fine,” I said. I accepted the cup and obligingly took a sip. “Are you prepared for tomorrow?”

“Physically? Yes. Mentally? ...I am not so sure.”

”Well, you must be prepared for tomorrow. If you don’t have your wits about you you’ll die, Ferdie.”

Ferdie smiled at me. “I am moved by your concern, Dorothea.”

”Of course I’m concerned. I consider you to be a good friend, Ferdie.”

Ferdie’s eyes widened, and he lowered his cup. “A friend? You truly see me as a friend?”

His reaction surprised me. I was aware of his infatuation with me and I had expected him to be crestfallen at being called just a friend. However, when Ferdie looked at me I saw relief and joy in his expression to be called ‘friend’ by me. I relaxed my smile for him. “Yes. One of the dearest friends I’ve ever had, Ferdie.”

Ferdie smiled, and he drank more water before he spoke. “I am pleased, Dorothea. For so long I was the subject of your contempt. To hear you call me a friend means a lot to me.”

”I’ve fallen in love,” I admitted abruptly.

Ferdie’s head shot up. I saw shock in his expression, though it quickly changed to varying different expressions. I did see regret but briefly, but his expression ultimately settled on sorrow. “I...see. That is quite a coincidence, Dorothea. I too have fallen in love.”

I was shocked by his confession, and I knew from his shifting expression that my shock was showing on my face and he waved a hand. “I-I apologize. I did not mean to take the conversation away from you.”

”It’s nothing, Ferdie,” I said. “I’m glad to hear that you’ve fallen in love. Have you told the lucky lady?”

Ferdie shook his head. “I have not. Have you told your...?”

I shook my head. “That...is what I’m currently struggling with.”

”You have not told them?” Now he looked surprised. “This is surprising, Dorothea. You are assertive and opinionated. You are not afraid to tell people what you really think of them. I would not expect you to hesitate in confessing feelings of love.”

I realized that we were both being deliberately vague; not naming the person with whom we had each fallen in love with. I wasn’t comfortable sharing with him the name of the person I was in love with, and he was not pressing me to name them. _I’ll be kind to you then Ferdie, and not ask her name either._

”A love confession is not as easy to admit as a confession of contempt,” I said finally , looking away.

”That is true enough,” Ferdie agreed. “Especially when you do not know how the person you love feels. Ah.” He looked back at me. “Is that why you hesitate? Because you do not know how they feel?”

”I know how he feels,” I said, shrugging slightly. “He loves me back. I know that he loves me back. But I also know that he will not tell me so. And I...” I shook my head. “I’m afraid that if I confess to him, he will reject me despite his feelings for me.”

”If he loves you back, then you should not worry about confessing to him.”

”But—”

”Dorothea, you should not hold back now. Not when we march tomorrow, and...” a look of pain crossed his face. “And not when we go to bring the destruction of our home country.”

It hurt to see him like this. I knew that the impending battle was why he hid himself all month. When Ferdie had joined the Blue Lions all those years ago, everyone was shocked and pressed him for his reasons why he left the House of the country he openly talked about ruling. He had given a reason— _“I had wanted to carve my own path.”_ —but I knew that it was only a half-truth. There had been a bigger reason as to why he left, and he seemed to regret his decision to leave daily. But he stood firm in his convictions and even while on the run as a fugitive for five years he stood against Edelgard. Against the country he desperately loved.

But I didn’t want to press his reasoning now and instead decided to change the subject. “Will you confess your feelings to the woman you love?”

Ferdie flushed, and I nearly laughed at how adorable he looked. He rubbed at his face and sighed. “I...do not know.”

”Then we both have a lot to figure out today.” I stood up from his desk chair and walked over to him. He stiffened as I reached up and hugged him around the shoulders. “Go and let yourself feel good,” I spoke into his ear. “You’re been hurting for too long, Ferdie. Go and confess your feelings and let yourself drown in love.”

Ferdie’s breath hitched painfully. “...What if she does not love me back?”

”Well, you’ll never know how she really feels unless you confess to her right?”

Ferdie accepted my hug, and we stood there in silence for a few minutes holding each other. I knew that if things had been different we may have fallen in love and this would’ve been the opportunity for us to confess our feelings for each other. But that was not what was happening. We had come to an understanding and had grown as people. And our hearts were claimed by someone else.

When I leaned away, I saw Ferdie looking at me with seriousness. “If I must gather my courage to confess my love, then you must do the same Dorothea. I would be most unpleased if you could not find happiness.”

I smiled at him. “I feel the same for you.”

* * *

I stopped by my room briefly, and my gaze caught the book on my desk. It was the banned romance novel Yuri Leclerc had allowed me to borrow from the Abyss, _My Love on Dove’s Wings._ I was addicted to the storytelling and the vivid details of the book gave me a form of escapism whenever my feelings were down.

The novel however had incredibly explicit sexual content, and with a frequency I had never seen in a romance novel before. I imagine that it was the gratuitous love scenes that had gotten the book banned, because there was otherwise no offensive or sacrilegious content in the book. I shook my head with a laugh and picked up the book. _Who knew that the Church was so prudish?_

I went searching for Ingrid again, and when I saw Daphne in the courtyard in front of the Classrooms I knew that she had to be in one of the Classrooms. All around me people were running towards the north end of the Central Building, and I heard someone mention “knighting” in passing. It didn’t interest me and I steered myself towards the Classroom. I smiled when I saw Ingrid Brandi Galatea standing at the front of the Blue Lions Classroom in front of the podium, reading a letter. “Hello, Ingrid!” 

Ingrid didn’t respond to me, her focus on the letter. I held onto my smile as I approached her. “I saw Daphne outside. Are you going to leave her out there?”

”I’m getting married,” Ingrid said numbly, her eyes still on the letter.

I stopped in my tracks in front of her. She was frowning deeply and she looked deeply upset. “...And you don’t want to marry him,” I finished for her.

Ingrid turned the letter around to show me. “My parents. They’ve engaged me to _Sylvain_!”

I arched a brow upon hearing this, and took the letter from her. I read over it quickly and my stomach turned in disgust. “I do not like the wording of this letter, Ingrid. The tone sounds like your parents are not giving you the option to refuse this marriage.”

”Of _course_ they’re not giving me an option to refuse!” Ingrid snapped, taking the letter back. “I’m expected to just return home, marry Sylvain post-haste, and start producing children with Crests! As I don’t serve any other purpose in life than to be married off and pop out babies!” She stormed over to her old desk and forcefully sat down. She sighed painfully. “This is not the news I wanted to receive after finally gaining knighthood!”

”Ooh, you’re a knight?!” I gushed. I raced over and and hugged her from behind. “Congratulations, Ingrid! You’ve achieved your dream!”

”I suppose I have.” She winced though as I let her go. “Are you holding a book?”

“Yes, a romance novel Yurikins let me borrow from the Shadow Library.”

Ingrid made a face. “If it was in Abyss then it was banned, right?”

”Right. But never mind about that, what was with that bland reaction to gaining your dream? That wasn’t a proper reaction after you wanted knighthood for so long!” I sat down beside her. “Come on, don’t worry about this letter! Just bask in the joy of what you have now!”

Ingrid sighed again, and she ducked her head. Her morose behavior made my heart ache, and I felt guilty that I had come to her with the express purpose of gaining her help, when she in fact needed my help. “...I have a feeling that this goes deeper than your father forcing another marriage on you,” I said softly.

“If you must know, I’m in love,” Ingrid said painfully. I gaped at her in shock, almost not believing that she admitted it out loud like that. “I’m in love...and I do not know what to do about it.”

”Who are you in love with?” I asked before I could stop myself. Ingrid gave me a look but I shrugged. “Sorry, it’s just a natural question to ask. It’s obviously not Sylvain since you don’t want to marry him. But I noticed that you have close friendships with a lot of men. Dimitri, Dedue, Ashe, Yurikins, Felix—”

She visibly reacted to the last name and I trailed off. “Ah.” I nodded my understanding. “I see. Then I can understand your comprehension as Felix does not give out affection easily. At all,” I admitted sheepishly. “He was never really responsive to my flirting—”

”You flirted with him?!”

I shrugged apologetically. “But I flirt with everyone. I flirt with you too, Ingrid.”

”That’s true.” She looked at the letter on her desk. “So...there is my dilemma. I am officially a knight of the Kingdom of Faerghus, but I’m being fast-tracked to marriage that I do not want.”

”And you love a man who you don’t know the feelings of,” I said softly. _Well, at least I know that the person I’m in love with reciprocates my feelings. Even if he may never admit it to me. But Felix may not love Ingrid back, so she stands to lose so much if she decides to confess to Felix despite being promised to someone else._

”Well, we march tomorrow,” I said finally. “If something bad happens tomorrow and you don’t do something about this, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

So what I am supposed to do? Just go up to him and tell him how I really feel even though he may reject me?”

”Of course you should. You have to do it, and you must confess first, Ingrid.”

”Why is that?”

I shrugged again. “Because if he has feelings for you, he won’t confess them to you.”

Ingrid frowned and looked away. “...You’re right,” she said softly. “He may never confess affection, even on his deathbed.”

”At this point you have nothing to lose. If you confess and he reciprocates, then he can help you circumvent your marriage to Sylvain. And he doesn’t reciprocate, well then you’ll have to work with Sylvain to get out of this. Knowing Sylvain he probably wouldn’t object to marrying you, but I know him well enough that he wouldn’t marry you if your families were forcing you into it. Just talk to Sylvain first, see how he feels and see if he’s willing to defy your families with you, and then go and confess to Felix. Having your love rejected hurts Ingrid, but it’s also a freeing experience.”

”I...see.” I could still see her hesitation and I gave her a hug again. “I believe in you, Ingrid.”

”I’m just scared of ruining the relationship I already have with him by pushing this on him.”

I stiffened slightly, as her words hit too close to home for me, but I forced a smile and brushed her bangs out of her face. “Don’t worry about uncertainty now. Follow your heart. I’m fairly certain your heart wants you to go to Felix and be with him. Even if things go wrong, you should focus on all the right that could happen. Being consumed with happiness after achieving what you desire most is a wonderful feeling.”

Ingrid finally managed a smile and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “I wish then for the same for you, that you achieve the happiness you deserve.”

I kissed her on the cheek and stood up. “I have other business to attend to. I’ll see you later, Ingrid.”

“Dorothea?” Ingrid asked.

”What is it?”

”Thank you.”

I could still see uncertainty in her green eyes, but I nodded to her before turning to leave. _Don’t hold back now, Ingrid. You deserve to be happy._ I scoffed quietly. _I’m quite the hypocrite, aren’t I? Here I am, telling a good friend to hurry and confess her love, when **I’m** currently avoiding a love confession._

When I left the classroom, I was startled as I nearly ran straight into Sylvain Jose Gautier. He predictably smiled upon seeing me. “Well hello D—”

”Ingrid’s in there,” I interjected, forcing a smile and gesturing into the classroom. 

“Ah, thank you.” Sylvain bowed, but I rolled my eyes at his niceties. I moved to leave, but realized that I had more that I wanted to say to him. “She told me. I...hope you both can get this settled.”

“Thank you, Dorothea.” Sylvain’s smile relaxed into a more sincere one and I allowed myself to relax as well. _Ah. He doesn’t want this marriage either._

“You’re welcome,” I said plainly and turned to walk away. I hugged my book to my chest and glanced towards the second floor of the Central Building. I stopped in my tracks and hesitated for moment. With a groan of dismay I turned away from the Central Building and headed back towards the Dormitories.

_I’ll see what Bern is up to._

* * *

It was nighttime. And instead of eating cake in the Dining Hall or...settling my affairs I was curled up on my side on my bed, my eyes closed. _...I haven’t seen him. I hate myself, but I’m still hesitating. Oh Goddess, look at me. We march tomorrow, and I’ll be killing more people tomorrow...and I’m selfishly absorbed in my own personal woes._

I opened my eyes and sat up. I approached my desk and picked up the hand mirror I had propped there. I carefully traced the name engrave on the handle. _Tierney von Essar._

”Well, Lady Tierney,” I said aloud. “What would you say if you were here, and I told you that I had fallen in love with your brother?” I winced slightly, and looked at my reflection. My expression was stressed and sad, and seeing myself like that filled me with anger. “You need to get a grip, Dorothea,” I told my reflection. “You love him. And you know that he loves you. You need to tell him, and deal with the fallout when he rejects you.”

_“If I must gather my courage to confess my love, then you must do the same Dorothea.”_

_“I wish then for the same for you, that you achieve the happiness you deserve.”_

_“Anything can happen tomorrow. I-Isn’t it better to just settle everything now? If something happens tomorrow and you’re not able to settle it, I-I know that you’ll regret it!”_

I set the mirror down and rubbed a hand over my face. I had spent my entire life seeking love. I wanted to marry for love, but mostly I had wanted to marry someone who could take care of me. Love was just a nice bonus along the way. I have given my voice, my charm, and my body all in the pursuit of trying to find the person with whom I would spend the rest of my life with. But instead of meeting my match, I bedded both men and women who when they looked at me they were filled with lust and greed. They wanted my beauty and they wanted my fame. They didn’t want _me_. And they didn’t love me. I was just their means to an end. 

I looked down at the mirror again as I felt tears sting my eyes. Well, it had finally happened. I had fallen deeply in love with someone I had never expected to fall in love with—Professor Hanneman von Essar. He was not the type of person I had sought out as my marriage partner. I hadn’t even _seen_ him as a marriage partner until recently. When I had looked at him I saw a confidant, someone I could trust with secrets that I did not share with other people. When I was with Hanneman I was at ease because I didn’t feel the pressure to put on airs or play up my charm. I had been comforted by the gentle way he looked at me, the soft tone of voice he adopted while talking to me.

Then...Then I saw him again for the first time in five years on my birthday. I was singing for townspeople to cheer them up during a time of war, and I saw Hanneman standing at the back of the crowd. And the way he was looking at me—it wasn’t gentle eyes and a soft smile. He looked like he was in a trance; his gaze hypnotic. I couldn’t look away from him when I saw him, and I realized that I was no longer singing to the townspeople anymore. I was singing to him.

_I love you._

In hindsight it felt silly to realize in that moment, after not seeing him for so long, that I loved him deeply. But it happened and I couldn’t escape it. I loved him. He was a man much older than me, but he was kind, intelligent, and had incredible empathy. We took care of each other in battle, and he did not objectify me but rather saw me as a person and not as a former songstress or a former lowly street urchin. I was just _Dorothea_ to him. And seeing the way he looked at me while I sang...I did not see objectification in his eyes but he looked at me like I was a rare treasure. Never in all my life had I ever felt such elation and—and euphoria from just a gaze. I had wanted to immediately rush to his side and embrace him, but I stood my ground and finished my performance.

When we were alone, and he gave me the last memento that he had of his beloved sister as my birthday present, I couldn’t help myself. I gave in to temptation and kissed him. And to my shock, he kissed me back. He accepted my kiss and he responded to my touch. When I coaxed him to touch me, he _touched me_. I sensed some hesitation from him, but he didn’t push me away or tell me no, and once he relaxed his responses were positive. Even afterwards, I did not know how much further we would have gone had Seteth not interrupted us.

But afterwards...after we reunited at Garreg Mach, Hanneman made a conscious effort to avoid me. In the moons since we returned, there was only one time we were alone together, and I was moved by his endearments and care. He kept a distance from me though and despite his gentle demeanor he did not touch me, but it was an illuminating conversation with him.

_“Thank you, but I really am fine. It's nice to know you're always thinking of me though.”_

_”Well, of course. You're like a...”_

_”Like a what?”_

He had quickly clarified to say that I was a friend to him, but I knew the truth. That pregnant pause after his words...if he only looked upon me with friendship, then he should have said so easily. But he was about to say something else, and deliberately stopped himself.

_He loves me, too._

I knew then that Hanneman did love me, and I teased him accordingly. Unfortunately, teasing him was my biggest mistake because he went right back to avoiding me. The only time I really saw him again was when we fought on the battlefield. He used to go out of his way to make time for me, but now...now he wouldn’t speak to me. And when he _did_ speak to me, it was usually in the presence of someone else.

_We love each other. If we survive tomorrow, I want to be with him. I want to leave this horrible war behind and build a life with him. But I’ve seen from the past moons that he’s denying his feelings for me. He will not act upon them, so it’s up to **me** to do something about it. But..._

”Bernadetta, I don’t know what happened to make you refuse me now, but I _know_ you want to spend time with me!”

I jumped slightly and looked towards the door. I realized that I had been lost in my world little world and hadn’t been paying attention to my surroundings. _That’s...Yurikins?_

BANG! BANG! BANG! “Open the door, Bernadetta!”

“No!” Bern shouted from the room to my right.

BANG! BANG! BANG! ”Open up!” Yurikins yelled.

”No!”

”Open!”

 _“Never!_ I’m never leaving this room _ever again_!”

I sighed softly and rubbed a hand over my face. “Please forgive me, Yurikins...”

It was my fault, of course, that this was happening between Yurikins and Bern. She was excited about her “play-date” with Yurikins and I teased her to the point that she had an anxiety attack. It was not my intention to take the teasing that far; I had thought we were having fun. I didn’t realize that Bern’s feelings for Yurikins were a LOT more complicated than I had perceived them to be.

_And now she’s not coming out of her room._

**BANG!**

Bern screamed and I jumped violently where I stood at the sound. I heard Bern’s door fly open and Yurikins shout, ”Ha! You’re dressed and ready to go! You _do_ want to go with me! You were always a terrible liar, Bernadetta!”

Yurikins’s determination to have his play-date with Bern no matter what was so shocking that laughter bubbled from my throat. Within seconds I was almost screaming with laughter as I heard Bern shout, “Yuri, put me down!” as their footsteps and voices left Bern’s room and turned towards the direction of the Dining Hall. I leaned my back against my windowsill as I tried to regain my composure but was unable to do so.

_They’re so cute! But I feel sorry for them both. Bern quite obviously feels strongly for Yurikins, and it’s now apparent that Yurikins feels strongly for Bern, but could they be together? The past is the past, but Yurikins was still a child assassin who was hired to kill Bern when they were kids. He’s also a street urchin like me, despite having a Crest himself. Then there’s the matter of whether or not they would actually confess their feelings for each other..._

These thoughts helped to sober my mood and I sighed quietly. _It’s amazing how much commonality I have found with my comrades in a single day._

I started to idly straighten my room but then my eyes caught my desk. I looked down at the book on my desk. _My Love on Dove’s Wings._ It was endearing that Yurikins had dissuaded Bern from reading the book given its content. I had bookmarked several pages in the book (even though I hadn’t finished it) and my fingers traced a red bookmark deep in the book. It was bookmarked admittedly to one of the explicit love scenes, more specifically the ten-page love scene I had mentioned to Bern earlier. I flipped the book open to later in the scene and my eyes scanned over the pages.

 _’Audrea’s thighs quivered under the sensual brushes of Harlow’s lips against her tender skin. His hands were calloused and rough, but they caressed her body as though in gentle worship of her._ _”Oh...ah...” Audrea could not suppress her voice as Harlow kissed and touched her in a way that no man had ever touched her before. His mouth sucked and kissed her sensitive flesh, hands sliding up and down the top of her creamy thighs slowly as his head moved between her legs. The way her body ached felt so foreign but she could not help but want more, crave more._ _“Oh, Harlow,” she moaned, her voice low and husky and quite unlike her voice. “My love...ah...!” She arched her head back, panting and moaning and sliding her hands down to interlink her fingers with his as her body rocked with the motions of his mouth. Harlow was encouraged by her responses and kissed and licked her harder and faster, savoring her sweet honey—’_

I abruptly closed the book and flushed. I had bookmarked the scene because it was the first consummation of the leading couple, Audrea and Harlow. Their romance had charmed me because Harlow was but a lowly rogue who was as good at bedding women as he was at contract killings. And Audrea was a proper noblewoman with a good heart, who was unfortunately in an arranged marriage to an absolute dastard of a nobleman named Tredan. With seven illegitimate children and three mistresses, one of whom was Audrea’s own sister Linette, Tredan was obviously meant to be a character despised by the reader. The deflowering of a Lady by a rogue could have been handled obscenely or contritely by the author, but the author had went to great lengths to show Audrea and Harlow falling deeply in love, denying their feelings, and the lengths Harlow went to win Audrea’s heart and prove how much he loved her. He didn’t have a way with words or use pretty poetry to win her heart. Just gritty, real emotion and ultimately body language and gentle seduction to finally win her over.

I stilled, and flipped open the book again. _Wait a minute. This is a work of fiction, but Harlow conveyed with his body how much he loved Audrea because his proclamations of love did not convince her. If I—if Hanneman doesn’t listen to my love confession, but must I—_

I flushed and shook my head furiously. But...I locked my jaw and looked towards the door. _That might be my only recourse. I love him. He loves me. We need to be together. If I cannot convince Hanneman to be with me with words...then I’ll seduce him. I’m good at seduction. I’ll go to the Sauna first so that I have calm nerves and a glowing complexion. Then I will convey to Hanneman how desirable he is to me, and I’m certain I can awaken his desires for me as well. I’ve done it before, I can do it again._

I nodded to this, closed the book and picked up the mirror to check myself over before I quickly put on my boots. I flushed as I realized that I hadn’t put on my leggings and my legs were bare, but I shrugged it off as I left my room. Before I closed the doors I noticed movement to my right and I turned to see Petra Macneary and Ignatz Victor stopping in their tracks as they saw me. I smiled at them. “Oh, good evening. Yurikins caused quite a racket with Bern, didn’t he?”

”H-He carried her to the Dining Hall,” Ignatz said. Even though it was night I saw that his face was flushed. 

“We are in urgency,” Petra told me. I then noticed that Ignatz and her were clasping their hands tightly. My gaze quickly lifted and I looked between the two of them for a moment. I glanced towards Petra’s room and the realization dawned on me. I quickly turned around and snapped my doors shut. “I-I.” My tone stuttered because I was embarrassed. “I’m...going to go to the Sauna.” I turned and hurried down the steps and quickly walked towards the direction of the Sauna. I heard a door close behind me and when I looked over my shoulder I saw that Petra and Ignatz were gone.

_I didn’t realize that Petra and Ignatz were in love. Which is foolish because Petra is a good friend of mine and I usually notice these things. It looks like though Petra is staking her claim with Ignatz before our battle tomorrow. Just like me._

* * *

I left the Sauna feeling more confident in my emotions. I also knew that my skin was glowing because both men and women stopped to stare at me as I past them. I forced a smile at the gawkers but didn’t break my stride. _Sorry. This is just for one person._

Despite my newfound confidence, my heart was pounding in my throat as I mounted the stairs to the second floor of the Central Building. I glanced inside the Audience Chamber and saw that it was empty. Alois Rangeld had spent the month loitering in front of the Audience Chamber but now he was not there. I felt a sliver of relief at seeing the corridor empty and turned towards Hanneman’s office. As I passed Seteth’s Office and the Captain’s Quarters and saw that both were empty. Hanneman’s door was closed, but before I knocked on the door I quickly checked inside the Infirmary. Manuela was not in there. My heart ached that I had not been able to speak to her at all today, but I was relieved to see the hallway and adjoining rooms empty of people. 

_This will be much easier for me now._

I turned then to Hanneman’s office and did breathing exercises. _It’s okay. You can do this, Dorothea. You love him and you know that he loves you back. You have to tell him how you feel, and show him how you feel. If you don’t do it now, you may never get the opportunity again._

I nodded with conviction and knocked on the door. “Professor Hanneman?”

I didn’t receive a response, but I heard murmuring inside the office. I tested the door handle and saw that it was unlocked, so I pushed open the door. I looked inside the office and my eyes widened and my mouth hung open in shock.

Hanneman was standing facing the door in front of the Crest Analyzer, his hands outstretched and glowing. To his left stood Linhardt von Hevring, and his hands were also glowing and moving rapidly. As someone proficient in Reason, I knew that he was casting a spell. 

And to Hanneman’s right, facing Lin, stood Lysithea von Ordelia. Her entire right arm was glowing and hovering over the Crest Analyzer. Above all three of them I saw two symbols hovering in orbs in the air. I knew that they were Crest symbols.

_Two Crests?_

Lin shouted a word I couldn’t decipher, and an explosion of light burst between the three of them. They all fell to their knees briefly, but Lin reached across the Analyzer to grab Lysithea’s right hand and pulled it back over the Analyzer. All three of them looked up. “ _Damn it_!” Lin shouted, startling me deeply because I had never heard him raise his voice before. I followed their gaze and saw the two Crests were still hovering over the Analyzer.

“I am sorry,” Hanneman said as he helped Lysithea to stand. “I did not mean to get your hopes up. When I found that spell, I...” his voice trailed off as he finally caught sight of me. His blue eyes went wide. “Oh. Dorothea?”

”P-Please forgive me,” I stammered, flushing with shame as the three of them stared. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your wo—”

”I think we were done anyway,” Lysithea said sagely. She was the only one who did not look upset by what was undoubtedly a failed experiment. She shook her head and forced a smile. “I really want to go and have that cake now.”

”Then we’ll go,” Lin said, his expression strained. “We gave it our best shot and it did not work.” He looked to Hanneman. “Thank you anyway, Professor.”

”Please accept my—” Hanneman began, but Lysithea raised a hand to stop him. “You tried, and that means the world to me. It will be enough for now.”

”It’s not enough,” Lin muttered darkly, and I was uneasy by his somber demeanor. He walked around the Crest Analyzer and took Lysithea’s hand. I did not miss the way his fingers caressed the back of her hand. “I promised you cake for doing this, and I intend to keep that promise.”

Lysithea’s smile relaxed a little more and she nodded. “Thank you.” She glanced towards me. “Are you—?”

I quickly shook my head. “I’m not interested in cake right now, but please tell me how it is. I walked past the Dining Hall earlier today and I can say that chocolate smells delicious. I hope you both enjoy it.”

”I am also not inclined to have cake right now,” Hanneman said, and I nearly breathed a sigh of relief. “Perhaps later on, if there is any left.”

”Have a good night, Professor. Dorothea,” Lin said to me as he departed the office with Lysithea. Not once did he let go of her hand.

Hanneman followed them to the door and closed it behind them. I was encouraged that he did not immediately dismiss me and for once was comfortable being alone with me. _I need to keep his comfort level steady. If I lead with a love confession, then he will surely ask me to leave._

”The Crest Analyzer,” I said as Hanneman walked past me back to his desk. “It showed—two Crests, right? Those were Lysithea’s?”

”You are correct, Dorothea. Lysithea bears both a Major Crest of Gloucester, and a Minor Crest of Charon.” He wasn’t looking at me, instead occupying himself with organizing the books on his desk. 

I shook my head in amazement. “That explains her unparalleled abilities with Reason. But I’ve never heard of someone bearing two Crests before.”

”Yes. It is impossible and unnatural, and it was done to Lysithea against her will through inhumane experimentation. With the two Crests she has unmatched skills with magic, but the power of both Crests is too much to bear on her body. The Crests are literally eating away her life.”

My heart lurched and tears stung my eyes as I pressed a hand to my throat. “She...She’s _dying_?!”

Hanneman looked at me then, his expression soft but sad. “Unfortunately so. Lysithea perhaps has but a decade left to live.”

”Oh Goddess...” I shook my head and looked away from him. “No wonder Lin looked so upset...”

”We are trying to save her life,” Hanneman confirmed. “Linhardt is quite passionate about finding a spell to remove one or both of her Crests. I found what I thought would be a spell to reverse what was done to her in a book from the Shadow Library, but as you saw the spell was fraudulent and a tragic waste of our time.”

”I’m so sorry...”

”You do not need to worry yourself over this, Dorothea. This was a misstep, but we are not going to give up hope. Linhardt and I are determined to save Lysithea’s life, so I am confident that we will be successful.” Hanneman slowly took off his trench coat and hung it over his desk chair. “I am afraid I do not have tea to offer you, but I am pleased that you stopped by to see me.”

”I’m glad,” I said, nodding. “Because there’s a lot we need to discuss.”

”Is that so?” Hanneman asked, looking up at me again.

”Yes.” I slowly approached the desk, feeling my heart in my throat but I swallowed to steady my nerves. _Now. Do it now._

”Your complexion...is different,” Hanneman said. His tone was a little uneasy.

”I stopped by the Sauna before coming. Pro...Hanneman,” I said, dropping his title. “I came here tonight because I wanted to continue a conversation with you.”

”’Continue a conversation’?”

”Yes. The last time we spoke alone together I promised that we would discuss the future in the future. Well—it is the future from that conversation, so I want to discuss our future now.”

Hanneman slowly straightened into a proper standing position. His blue eyes were slightly alarmed and he quickly reached up to take off his bifocal. “...I see,” he said quietly. His hand was trembling as he cleaned his bifocal with a handkerchief. 

“I love you.” 

The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Hanneman’s head shot up and he looked at me stunned. A light blush coated his cheeks. I was slightly embarrassed that I impulsively blurted out my declaration of love like that, but I steeled myself and kept going. “I’ve been in love with you for some time. I have given it a lot of thought, and have thoroughly explored my feelings, and I know in my heart that I want to be with you and spend the rest of my life with you.”

Hanneman sputtered, the bifocal and handkerchief slipping from his hands. The handkerchief fell to the floor and his bifocal thumped against his vest and hung. “Y-You...” he tried to formulate words and he gestured to me. “M—Dorothea. Did I h-hear you correctly...?”

”Of course you did,” I said, holding his gaze as I moved closer to him. “I love you. I love you with all of my heart and I want to be with you.”

He continued to stare at me stunned, and my nerves jumped slightly. _I knew it. He’s going to reject me._ I tried to keep my demeanor light as I swallowed thickly. “Are you not flattered to be given a love confession from a young and beautiful woman?”

Hanneman took an unsteady step back away from me, confirming my suspicions that he was frantically searching for a means to reject me. “D...Dorothea,” he said, his tone slightly scared. “I...”

I knew then that I had to make a move before he could form a rejection in words. I grabbed my skirts and deliberately hiked them up my bare thighs as I hopped onto his desk to sit. His gaze followed my motion and lingered on my legs for a long moment. His blush darkened when he realized what he was doing and he quickly looked up at my face. “Dorothea—”

“You can relax,” I told him, lowering my tone. “I’m fulfilling your wish. The woman with whom you love reciprocates your feelings.”

Panic and alarm flashed in his eyes, and my heart skipped a beat at the further confirmation of his feelings. _Yes. You love me. And now you know I love you, too. There’s nothing to hold you back from being with me._

But Hanneman shook his head and cleared his throat awkwardly. “I...do not know what you are talking about.”

”Really?” This was a response I was expecting but I couldn’t help but feel irritated.

”I care about you,” Hanneman told me. He approached me with careful steps, his gaze frantically shifting between me and the room itself. “I care about you a great deal, Dorothea, and I worry about the burdens you take onto yourself. But I must apologize profusely for—misleading you with my intentions.”

”What do you mean?”

”I—I have clearly led you on with my words and behavior, and I am deeply sorry for that. It was not my intention to give you the impression that I see you as a romantic partner when I don’t. You are a wonderful woman Dorothea, and a close and trusted friend. You are also a former student of this Academy, whereas I am a former teacher. I am ashamed of the impression I have bestowed upon you with my behavior.”

I sighed shortly, undeterred from his rejection. I pressed my hands over my bare thighs. “So, I am just a friend to you?”

”Yes, you are. As I said, I—”

”Do friends kiss each other in passion? Do friends touch each other with intimacy?”

Hanneman’s blush was so dark now that I was almost worried that he would faint. He moved closer so that he was standing in front of me. “Dorothea—”

”It’s okay to feel what you feel for me,” I interrupted him. I kept my tone low and gentle and held his gaze. “You’re in love with me. You want to kiss and touch me. These are natural feelings to feel for a woman who loves you back. Who wants to kiss and touch you, too.” I slid my hands up my thighs, causing my skirt to raise higher and expose more skin. His gaze dropped back down to watch the motion. I could almost feel his resistance crumbling and the knowledge of it made my heart pound. “I am yours,” I coaxed him. “You don’t need to worry about hurting me. I’m not a maiden—“ though admittedly I was embarrassed again to admit this. “So you do not need to be concerned that you are taking advantage of me. I’m an adult woman who knows what she wants.”

But Hanneman lifted his gaze and shook his head. His demeanor was becoming desperate and frantic. “I cannot do this, Dorothea.”

”Why not?” I challenged him.

”B-Because, it’s...” he waved his hand as he floundered over his words again. He sighed shortly. “I do not see you that way.”

He was lying. I knew he was lying because he could not meet my gaze when he said those words. I sighed quietly and shook my head. _Well. You’ve asked for it, Hanneman._ ”Really?” I asked him again. I amplified my charm and lowered my voice even more to a husky whisper.

”Yes,” he said, finally looking at me. But he looked afraid.

”You don’t want me?” I asked him, keeping the same tone.

”I d-do not want you like—”

”You don’t want _this_?” I reached up and cupped his nape. I pulled him down to me and he didn’t object or resist me. I closed my eyes and pressed my mouth against his. My stomach fluttered at the sensation of feeling his mouth against mine for the first time in so long. His mustache tickled my skin but it only made me smile as his lips yielded against mine. “Still no?” I whispered against his mouth before my lips began to move against his. I used deliberately slow and sensual touches of my mouth, slight contact and gentle brushes of my tongue. Despite his protests he did not push me away, and his mouth moved against me. Parted lips held and and sucked on each other before I invaded his mouth and he inhaled sharply.

My other hand reached up to cup his cheek as I kissed him. I kept the movements slow and gentle, coaxing him into my seduction as I tasted the mature and masculine flavor of his mouth. Hanneman groaned, the sound almost anguished. He didn’t touch me but he leaned forward and braced his hands on the desk on either side of me. He kissed me back, his tongue swirling around in my mouth. _Good,_ I thought to him, thrilled at my victory. _That’s it._ _You love me and you want me. I want to make you feel good. Just relax, I’m going to make you feel so good..._

Hanneman broke the kiss with a painful gasp and quickly pulled away from me. He stormed over to his couch facing the coffee table and two chairs and quickly planted himself on it. He was breathing heavily through his nose and he covered his mouth with his hand. I was hurt by the sudden rejection, but I quickly noticed that he was not wiping his mouth. He wasn’t wiping away my kiss. He just held his hand over his mouth as though to hide. I remained sitting on the desk watching him, waiting for his response. The kiss alone had made my body feel tight, but I steadied my breathing as I waited.

Finally, he lowered his hand. His breathing was still unsteady. “You said that you were sure that I loved you,” he said quietly. “Y...” He wasn’t looking at me. He swallowed audibly before continued. “You are correct. I do love you, Dorothea.”

Hearing his confession warmed my heart, but it quickly dimmed when I saw the pain in his face. “But I am not the right partner for you,” he said. He finally looked at me. “I am thirty-three years older than you are, Dorothea. Had fate been different to me, I would have fathered children around the same time that you were born. I cannot give you the life that you deserve. You deserve to be lavished and treasured by your partner. I-I,” he stuttered slightly when I slid off the desk and moved towards him. “I am too old for you and I am unworthy of you. You are young, and though you love me now you will know in time that there are better partners for you. I...”

I leaned over him and cupped his face, forcing him to look up at me. “I told you,” I said to him. “That I’ve thought about this. I know in my heart that I only want you.”

”I—”

”I’m not a silly girl with an infatuation, Hanneman.” I kept my tone gentle but firm. “I’m twenty-four years old. I’m an adult woman. Despite our age difference, I have been in adulthood for the entire time that we have known each other. I know my feelings and I know what I want. I love _you._ I want _you_. Don’t tell me that I can do better when I have already found the best man for me.”

”B—”

I kissed him again to silence his protests. I kept the kiss simple, slow, and chaste to ease his worry. He melted under my lips again but he held himself still and wouldn’t touch me. He was shaking very slightly though when I pulled back and looked at him. “That feels good, doesn’t it?”

Hanneman closed his eyes and shook his head. He licked his lips. “Yes,” he admitted, but he did it reluctantly. “But—”

I kissed him again, this time slipping my tongue back into his mouth. “Mmm...” I felt a pleasurable squirm at hearing his noise of pleasure. He kissed me back deeply for a few moments but then quickly pulled away. “Don’t,” he protested feebly in a quiet voice.

 _You’re almost there,_ _Hanneman._ Instead of kissing him on the mouth, I pressed a kiss to his cheekbone. My lips trailed to his ear and licked the lobe as my hands trailed down to his neck. I undid his tie and watched him as I slowly slid it off his shoulders. Then I unbuttoned his collar and pressed kisses to his exposed throat. 

Hanneman pressed his back against the couch. His head arched back and he moved with the motions of my kisses. “W...We shouldn’t,” he tried one last time. “We really shouldn’t...”

”Shh.” I leaned back up and met his gaze again. I raked my fingers through his hair and he shivered as he looked at me with half-lidded eyes. “We should,” I encouraged him. “It’s right. We love each other. People who love each other make love to each other.”

His breathing quickened abruptly, and he did and said nothing when I grabbed his wrists from his lap. I held his gaze as I pulled off each white glove with my teeth, pulling gently on the index finger with each one, and then set his hands on my waist. “There. You’re touching me now.”

Hanneman’s breathing was loud and harsh as I covered the back of his hands with my own and moved his hands down. My pulse quickened at feeling his hands slide down my body. He jumped slightly when his hands came in contact with my bare thighs. I continued to hold his gaze as I slid his hands up higher, fingertips disappearing up underneath my skirt. Hanneman gasped softly as his hands slid over my bare skin and higher up my thighs under my skirt. His hands were calloused but not overly rough against my skin. “D...Dorothea—”

I slowly and boldly climbed onto his lap, straddling his waist as I caught his lips and kissed him again. With the more intimate touches, the kiss was deep and passionate, and I felt the heat inside me climbing as my heart pounded. Hanneman’s body was still stiff against mine, despite his hands on me. _Hanneman, enough! Give in to me! Give in to your love and attraction to me!_

I stroked his shoulders back and forth and I was thrilled to feel the tension gradually ease from them. I loosened his buttons to his vest and pressed caressing, sensual kisses to the skin that was exposed. He hummed softly, his body still stiff, but his hands—his hands had wandered higher of their own accord. Under my dress I felt his hands, under no direction of mine, reach my backside. His hands trailed over my small clothes and squeezed the cheeks with his palms. My pulse spiked and I caught his mouth in another searing kiss. “Yes,” I whispered. “Don’t stop,” I told him when his hands stopped. “You’re doing good, Hanneman...”

He didn’t didn’t speak, his expression was still conflicted but his face was flushed with his building arousal and I saw the desire he was trying to suppress in his eyes. I raised myself higher in his lap. I reached behind my back and undid my silver belt, casually tossing it to the floor. Then I pulled the tie that held my bodice together. The I raised my hands to my nape and undid my choker, the final pieces that held the top of my dress together. I watched Hanneman’s expression as I shrugged off my sleeves and folded down the top part of my dress to expose my breasts to him. His eyes watched my movements, and I felt his hands reflexively squeeze my backside when he saw my breasts for the first time. The brief look of embarrassment emerged, followed by delight and then desire—I smiled and reached behind him to grab the back of the couch to enclose him.

It was in this moment that the last of his resistance crumbled. Hanneman’s hands hesitated for but a moment, but when that moment passed his hands shifted, and slid underneath my small clothes to cup my flesh directly. He moaned softly, and leaned up to press kisses into my bare neck. I giggled softly as I realized that he had finally given in to me—to his feelings—but the laughter broke off into a soft moan as his mouth quickly found my breasts. Hot, delicious pulses of pleasure vibrated from my chest as he pulled his hands free to cup and squeeze my breast as his tongue licked the nipples and his mouth sucked on my flesh. “Ah...” I gripped the back of the couch hard and arched my head back as he nipped and pulled on my nipples with expertise. His hands left my breasts and he circled his arms around me to pull me close, causing my breasts to press hard against his face as his mouth sucked and kissed hard. “Mmmm!” I shivered against him and let the couch go to cup his face and kissed him again. His hands returned to my breasts to fondle them and I broke the kiss as I couldn’t hold back my moan. “Thank you,” I panted, closing my eyes as I settled myself back down on his lap. He pressed kisses into my shoulder as I felt his erection pressed against my groin, our clothing still separating us. “Thank you for giving in to me.”

I began to move against him, rubbing myself against him with teasing strokes. We gasped and kissed again, and his hands slid down my body to cup my backside again, this time over my dress. He squeezed and pulled, encouraging my motions and helping me to move against him. I felt him grow harder against me from the contact and my groin pulsed and ached from the friction. I arched my head back and moaned as the heat of arousal began building in my body, and I let out a desperate whine as he kissed my breasts again. “I love you,” I moaned loudly.

Hanneman groaned, and his tongue licked between my breasts. “I love you, too.”

Hearing him say the words to me in passion, without worry or anxiety, moved me so much that I felt tears sting my eyes once more. I stopped my movements and sat up fully, kissing him hard and pulling at his clothes. In a flash his vest and shirt were off, leaving his upper body bare as I climbed off his lap and sank to my knees on the floor in front of him. My movements jolted the coffee table slightly as I pulled his belt free and opened his trousers. “A...” Hanneman grabbed my shoulder to stop me. “Are you sure you want to...?” His voice trailed off.

I held his gaze reassuringly. “I told you, I’m not a virginal maiden. I have had lovers, I know what to do.” I looked down as I rubbed my hand over his crotch, my heart thudding at feeling his hot flesh beneath his small clothes. I gently eased them away, and I hummed with approval when I saw his flesh. The fully erected column was not overly large and small. I looked up at Hanneman again, and he looked only slightly embarrassed. His hands touched my shoulder blade though as I bent down and pressed kisses from the base to the tip before swirling my tongue over the top. His taste was intoxicating and I groaned as I swallowed him.

I felt him twitch violently and groan loudly as I bobbed my head over him, hollowing my cheeks and squeezing my mouth in the way that I knew would maximize his pleasure. I moaned to give him stimulation with the vibrations in my throat. “Haa...” Hanneman began to move with my mouth before he suddenly grabbed my shoulders and pushed me away. “Stop. Please stop.”

”I-I’m sorry,” I said, quickly raising my hands. “Did I hurt you?”

Hanneman shook his head. “N...No. It felt incredible. Too good. I-I didn’t want to...” he didn’t say it, but I knew what he meant and my heart softened again. I held his chin and kissed him again, and I slowly stood up as I finished sliding off my dress and small clothes, leaving me standing before him naked. He broke he kiss to look me over, his breathing shallow. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

I smiled again, his compliment amplifying the love I felt for him, and I helped him remove his pants. “This woman is all yours.”

Hanneman flushed, but he smiled as he became as a naked as me. I slowly climbed back onto his lap, spreading my legs over him as we kissed again. Hanneman slipped his hand between my legs and his fingers began rubbing me. “Oh...” I slid my arms around his shoulders and began rocking into his hand. His three fingers pressed upon me but did not seek to enter my body, only tantalizing my folds of flesh and sensitive nub. I panted hard against his shoulder as the liquid heat burned in my lower body, pulsating and begging for more. “Oh...ha...ah...” Hanneman kissed my ear and rubbed my breast with his free hand. “Your body is so warm,” he whispered.

”T-The Sauna,” I moaned. My body ached so much that I couldn’t stop my movements, and the feeling building heat swept over me, but my eyes opened and I looked at him. “B—But you—”

”Not yet for me,” he told me. He quickly kissed my mouth. “But it’s time for you.”

”Oh—oh, oh!” I grabbed his shoulders, unable to tear my eyes away from his as my pleasure surged and bubbled over. My mouth hung open and I trembled violently against his rubbing hand, my release leaking down my inner thighs. “Ohhhhh!”

It wasn’t enough. Even while having climaxed I wanted more. I kissed him hard and adjusted myself so that his erection was directly under me. We both grabbed for him and rubbed the tip against my entrance. I panted with a gaping mouth in anticipation as his hands cupped my waist. I was trembling to my toes as I sank down over him, my muscles stretching around his length. I still couldn’t control my breathing—breath puffed out of my mouth in short gasps. I swallowed hard, but when I gasped for breath I groaned throatily. Oh Goddess—he was filling me up, his flesh hard and slick and _so good_.

”Mmmmh!” His mouth found my breasts again and I couldn’t stop the desperate whine. Half-moaning and half-panting, I rolled my hips in just the right way and engulfed him completely. “Haa...haa...”

Hanneman groaned loudly, the sound making my heart pound, and he rubbed his hands up and down my sides. “You—You’re _consuming_ me,” he gasped as I began to roll my hips against him, and held his palms over my hipbones.

I smiled at him and kissed him again. “Has it been awhile?” I whispered against his mouth.

”Decades,” he confessed breathlessly. “I—uhnn.” He rolled his head back and closed his eyes. “Oh, Goddess...”

It was my intention to move slowly for both of our sakes, mimicking my motions earlier, as neither of us had taken a lover for a long period (Hanneman longer than me) but I didn’t expect the hunger and desire that hummed through my body. To finally be connected to Hanneman; convincing him to give in to his feelings for me. We joined our bodies in lovemaking as an act of love, but feeling him pulse inside me made my arousal climb. Every little shift in his lap felt incredible and I craved _more_. I cupped his face and kissed him long and slow, and his own deep kiss made me dizzier. I leaned back from him and smiled. Then I began to ride him hard.

I gripped the back of the couch on either side of Hanneman’s head as I jutted my hips against him, slamming up and down over him with fast and forceful movements, our skin slapping together with contact. I was moving so fast that he wasn’t given a moment to match my movements, but his hands were planted firmly on my hips encouragingly. His eyes were squeezed shut and mouth hung open soundlessly in response to the sensations I was invoking in his body. “Ahn!” A groan finally puffed out of his throat, and with the sound he could no longer restrain his voice. “Mmm! Hmmmm!” He dug his fingers into my backside and down the back of my thighs, but he didn’t dig his nails in and only pressed down on the tips.

Not that I was unaffected by our lovemaking. The way my body opened and stretched for him each time his moved inside my body filled me with hot, delicious pulses. I couldn’t even restrain my own voice and my eyes slid closed as well. “Haa! Aaaah...!” My hands left the back of the couch and wrapped around his shoulders as I slowed my movements only slightly, angling my hips lower to do full but hard thrusts, rolling my hips until he was out of my body to his tip before slamming him back inside. The new movements allowed him to match my thrusts and I arched my head back as hot tendrils of pleasure began weaving up and down my body with each roll of our hips. “ _Yes_ ,” I moaned directly into his ear, panting hot and thick breaths against his cheek. “That’s it—That’s it, _yes—”_

With our next thrusts, when our bodies connected Hanneman suddenly hugged me around the middle tight. My eyes flew open and I panted in short breaths. He was buried deep inside me, but with the way his arms were wrapped around me I couldn’t move. I leaned back to look him in the face and saw that he was...smirking?

_Wh-What game is he playing?_

I smiled at him as I tried to decipher what his intentions were, and I squeezed my muscles around him. His eyes clouded over slightly but he still held me fast. I leaned forward and kissed him again, and he kissed me back with equal enthusiasm. Still he held me pressed against him and I couldn’t properly flex my hips to thrust. I groaned softly and my thighs trembled from the sensation of him buried deep. _Please...I want to move, oh please—_

Then Hanneman surged forward, and I found myself spun around and abruptly lying flat on my back on the couch cushions with a slight ‘oomph!’. I leaned my head up slightly as Hanneman grabbed me by my calves and hoisted my legs up into the air and settled my ankles over his right shoulder. He kneeled on the couch cushions with his right knee and his left foot was planted on the floor. From this angle I saw the full length of his body and the warm tendrils pulsated in me again. Despite using his age as a means of us denying our feelings for each other, he had a youthful and healthy physique. I loved him without seeing the man he was without his clothes on, and I felt guilty at my arousal heightening at seeing his taut and lean frame. But I also felt rest assured in my feelings for him, _because_ of the fact that my feelings grew from an emotional and intellectual attraction and not strictly based from a physical one.

Hanneman was panting softly, and he hugged my legs with his left arm to press my thighs together as he guided himself with his right hand. I was confused by what he was doing, until I felt his penis press against me and his hard shaft buried inside me with a single thrust. “ _Ohhhhhh_!” I threw my head back and arched my body at the sudden, sharp sparks of pleasure that filled my entire body. He moved quickly, pounding his hips against me with loud smacks as the sensations caused my body to vibrate, involuntary cries of pleasure escaping my open mouth. His fast motions rocked my whole body. Never, _never_ has sex felt like this—with my legs pressed together I was pressed down around him and the sensation was so tight and so _good_! And with my legs pressed together pressure was put directly onto my nub, and I could _feel_ the stimulation without touching it. I gripped the couch cushions in my fists and gritted my teeth, “Ooh! Ooh!” and the liquid pleasure heat was pulsating from my core and I threw my head back again as I felt my pleasure quickly mounting to impossible heights. “Oh, Goddess! Oh, Goddess!” I called out. 

My breath was coming out fast and huffed as I rolled up upon my peak, and I met Hanneman’s eyes. Oh _Goddess_ the way he was looking at me was incredible—like I was the most coveted treasure in the world to him as he panted his own pleasure. “I— _ahhhhhh_!” I tried to speak but briefly, but my release came hot and fast. My body felt like it was melting in pleasure and my vision gave out as it filled with white. It felt so good that I couldn’t help but scream and arch my back once more.

Hanneman was groaning as he panted, and he paused briefly. Euphoria still muddled my brain but I sat up as much as I could and touched his hip. “Don’t stop,” I said breathlessly. His face softened, even with his eyes glazed with arousal, and he nodded as he thrusted into me again. I panted harder from the movements but then his hips jerked and he threw his head back. “AH!” He grabbed the back of the couch with his free hand as he came inside me, and I shivered as I felt him filling me up. Hanneman collapsed sideways against the couch as he gasped for breath, his chest shining with sweat as he slowly pulled out of me.

I sat up and reached for him, stroking a hand against his cheek. I wanted to tell him how good he made me feel, and how much it meant to me that he didn’t deny me any longer. But when he opened his eyes and looked at me, my body unexpectedly clenched in pleasure. I gasped softly as the need to rejoin him filled me, and I leaned forward to kiss him again. We kissed slowly, his arms sliding around my shoulders and mine up over his shoulder blades. The simple contact of our mouths made the desire inside of me pulsate as it grew. Our kiss broke and we kissed each other’s faces and I moaned softly as I pressed hard against him, and as I did so I felt his erection press against my stomach. Our eyes met, and words weren’t needed. We both knew what we wanted.

Mere seconds later I was beneath him again, my head resting on a pillow against the arm of the the couch. “Haa...aaahn...” I shivered as he slid inside me again, and I crossed my ankles behind his back as he leaned over me. We kissed again, though he pulled back teasingly and laughed as my mouth sought to deepen the kiss. After a few moments his lips met mine again and I felt dizzy from the intensity of the kiss and the intensity of our joined bodies.

He began to move again, but not the hard thrusts he did earlier but slow and shallow thrusts that gently rocked me into the arm of the couch. My eyes rolled back and I closed them as I matched his motions with my own in a perfect rhythm. “Haaa...oh...” one of my hands buried into Hanneman’s hair as he pressed kisses into my cheek and behind my ear. One of his hands cupped my backside to help me lift my hips to match his motions while the other squeezed and fondled my breast. After a few moments he leaned and sucked hard on one my nipples and my fingers raked through his hair as I arched my head. “Ahh! Uhh!” He released the nipple and suddenly gripped the underside of the couch as his movements picked up.

Here I was, thinking that I was the one who had to take the lead with sex, when in reality Hanneman (despite abstaining from sex for so long) clearly outclassed me in the art of thorough lovemaking. The couch squeaked loudly beneath our moving bodies but it probably wasn’t as loud as my voice. I gasped and moaned and my mouth hung open as he pounded into me, the delicious rivulets of pleasure vibrating through my body. My hands slid up his back once more and I clung to him in a hug as my arousal climbed. “You’re... _amazing_ ,” I groaned, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

”Not as amazing as you,” Hanneman panted softly. He kissed my cheek again and pressed his pelvis over mine, rubbing our skin together as he thrusted hard and fast. My thighs trembled as his groin rubbed my incredibly sensitive nub, engorging it beyond what I could remember it feeling. “Oh! _Please_ ,” I begged, trying to slip my hand down between our bodies but he was pressed tightly against me that I couldn’t make it past our stomachs. I grabbed his forearm for something to hang onto as the hot pooling heat filled my lower body and I arched my head back once more. “That—just like that!”

Hanneman responded with a soft hum and did as I requested and kept his thrusts in this motion. My teeth clenched and I clung to him as I reached my peak once more with fire hot pleasure. “Oh, Goddess yes!” I groaned so hard that I felt it rumble in the back of my throat, and I rubbed myself against him as another shockwave hit me and pleasure flooded my body once more. Climaxing twice in succession was surprising and delightful for me and I smiled my satisfaction as I moaned loudly. _Yes...like that, yes..._

Hanneman shivered on top of me and my legs remained locked around him as he reached his peak. I hung onto my smile and stroked his back with one hand as his head arched back and his hips twitched against me as he came inside me once more. He was still in the throes of his climax when I slid my other hand beneath him to rub his sac with my fingers. “Uhmmn!” His eyes rolled back and he thrusted wildly into my body as I fondled him. “That’s it,” I panted softly, heat filling my body again from his motions. “Don’t hold back.”

Hanneman pressed his face into the arm of the couch next to my head to muffle his scream as he came hard again. His body still twitched against me in the aftershocks, but my body had become hot once more. With him still buried inside me I quickly reached down again and was able to reach my nub. I rubbed myself frantically, breathing fast and loud, and moments later my body arched against him as I crested again. I was so exhausted that I could only manage a deep and satisfied sigh. 

In the afterglow he withdrew from me but we curled up together holding each other. My eyes were closed but I felt him pressing soft kisses all over my face. When our lips met we held them together for a long moment, and I lazily rubbed a hand up and down his back while his thumb traced my jawline.

 _This...This is what I’ve always_ _wanted..._

* * *

I woke up on the couch later feeling dreamy, sated. I didn’t fully open my eyes at first. My body was aching in all the right ways and I couldn’t prevent myself from smiling as I stretched my arms. _I don’t care how much I ache going into battle, making love to Hanneman was worth it..._

I could sense that I was still naked, but my clothes were neatly folded on the chair across from me and Hanneman’s coat was tucked around me. I opened my eyes just slightly and saw Hanneman approach me. He was dressed again and wearing his bifocal, and he carefully set a teacup and saucer down on the table in front of me. I sat up partially as I recognized the scent. “...Sweet-Apple Blend?” My voice was a little hoarse.

”It is one of your favorites, yes?” Hanneman asked, speaking in a gentle tone. He sat down beside me on the couch. “I’m fond of the flavor too, so I thought it was the best tea to brew.”

”Thank you.” I picked up the cup and drank from it. The heat from the tea warmed my insides and I smiled as I shifted a little on the couch. It was then I noticed something and I checked myself underneath the coat. I could already see hickeys forming on my breasts, which made me smile but my heart softened as I looked up at Hanneman. “D-Did you clean me up?”

Hanneman flushed and rubbed at his nape awkwardly. “I...thought that was the prudent thing to do.”

I leaned forward and slid my arms around his shoulders. I pulled him in for a kiss and he yielded to me immediately and reciprocated the affection. After a moment I pulled back and caressed his cheek. “Thank you so much.”

”For what?” He looked confused.

”I know I put you on the spot after you worked so hard today, and right before this...important battle. But you accepted my feelings and showed me yours. And the...affection and care that you showed me.” I blushed slightly and looked away. “I’ve never had a lover that made me feel like that.”

Hanneman laughed softly, and he stroked the hair out of my face. “I feel that I owe _you_ the thanks. Dorothea, I...” he looked away briefly. “That was cruel of me to deny you like that because of my insecurities. In the heat of passion I gave in to you, but I...I have never felt so desirable in all of my life. It has been years since I took a lover...to be frank, I do not even remember my previous lover’s face. You are amazing, and I believe our lovemaking was so incredible because of how we feel for each other.”

”I...am still sensing hesitation from you,” I said, withdrawing slightly.

”I cannot deny myself to you any longer,” he confessed. “I love you and I want to be with you, Dorothea. But—But these concerns that I had...you have to understand that I will not be the only person who will have these concerns. If it is known that you, who are a famous songstress in a prestigious opera company, are romantically involved with a Professor at the Academy you attended as a student, who is significantly older than her, how do you think people would react?”

”You were never my professor,” I protested, but I felt my heart sink with realization.

”That does not matter,” Hanneman said, shaking his head. “All anyone would have to hear is that I was a professor, and you were a student, and they will jump to their own conclusions. They will assume that you _were_ my student. And they will assume that our relationship started when you were still a student.”

”But it didn’t! And even if it did, I was eighteen years old when I started at Garreg Mach! I was an _adult_!”

Hanneman gave me a leveled look. “Do you believe that will matter to people, Dorothea?”

I lowered my head, and hugged his coat to my chest. I closed my eyes as I felt tears sting them “If people assume that I started a sexual relationship with a professor while as a student, then...then they might conclude that any and all of my achievements in life were gained by me trading sexual favors for success,” I realized. I dug my fingers into his coat. “And if people assume that...then I will lose my career as a songstress, because there would always be doubt over whether I was successful because of my skills, or if it was because I slept with the right person.”

I felt Hanneman rub the back of my shoulders. “You would not be the only one to lose, Dorothea. As you have seen, I’m focusing my Crest research on helping Linhardt save Lysithea’s life. If I can figure out the secret of removing and implanting Crests on people, it will quite literally change the course of Fódlan’s history as we know it. But if people assume that I am a lecherous predator who preys upon vulnerable students...”

”Then people might assume that Lysithea is a “victim” of yours. And not only would you lose funding on your Crest research, but Lysithea’s parents might keep her away from you for her own “safety”. And then she will...” I opened my eyes and tears spilled out. “So...is that it then? Was this meaningless? Am I not able to be with you?!”

Hanneman cupped my face and turned me towards him. I choked on a sob as he pressed kissed onto my face kissing away my tears. When he leaned back I looked up at him, unable to hold back the anguish in my heart. “I don’t want to give up on you. I love you and I want to spend my life with you!”

”I feel the same,” Hanneman said softly. “So we both must realize that if we are to be together, we have to be discreet.”

I blinked. “Discreet?”

”Yes. We cannot tell anyone that were are in love and want to get married. We have to keep our relationship a secret for now. If the wrong people find out about us, then it would destroy our lives. This was another reason I hesitated in being with you, because I feel that this is too much to ask from you. If you are to be with me, then in public we cannot be a couple. Only in private. I did not want to put that strain on you, or on any future children we have. But now...” he looked away. “I cannot suppress my love for you now.”

”We’ll make it work,” I told him quickly, grabbing him by the hand. “If being with you means keeping our relationship a secret for an undetermined amount of time, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. I love you, Hanneman. I don’t want anyone else.”

”But...our children—”

”We don’t have children right now. We can worry about that when we _do_ have children. But they will have unconditional love and support from a mother and father who love each other. We can make it work, just please...” I shook my head desperately. “Don’t abandon me. Please.”

Hanneman’s face softened and he pulled me in for a hug. “I will not. I am yours...forever.”

I obviously could not stay with Hanneman overnight, but after I got dressed he escorted me back to my room. It was very late; the torches outside had gone out. Everyone had retired early for the siege tomorrow. I didn’t even see guards on duty. My heart was still heavy about the upcoming battle, but I was also filled with joy.

_I did it. I won Hanneman over. It will be difficult keeping our relationship a secret, but I will do it. I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll do anything I can to protect us, and to protect our future children._

”Thank you,” I whispered to him when we reached my room. I gestured to my room. “Would you like to come inside?”

Hanneman quickly shook his head, and he kept his voice low. “I am afraid if I come inside I will not want to leave. But I will see you tomorrow.”

I nodded. I wanted to kiss him again, but even in the deserted Dormitory courtyard it wasn’t worth the risk. “ _I love you_ ,” I mouthed to him, blowing a kiss.

He nodded, and “caught” my kiss with his hand. He pressed his palm over his mouth before he blew a kiss to me. “ _I love you, too_ ,” he mouthed back, before turning to leave. I watched him go until I could no longer see him, and then closed my door.

I collapsed upon my bed and sighed softly. I knew I had to get dressed for bed but I laid there for a moment to savor the memory of his kisses, and the way my body felt when we were joined. My hands rested over my stomach absently as I closed my eyes. _I love you. I love you, and I will do everything I can to make you happy, and make this risk of being with you worth it._

I opened my eyes and sat up as I looked towards my desk. I lit a candle and looked down at _My Love on Dove’s Wings_. I wasn’t finished with the book, but since we were leaving tomorrow I didn’t know when I would be able to finish it. I flipped the book and turned to the last page. As I read the ending, I couldn’t help but smile as warmth settled over my heart once more.

_’”Are you certain you want to be with me?” Harlow said one last time. “I am penniless and have many enemies. You have suffered so greatly for events and grudges that were not your fault, and beyond your control. I cannot give you the life that you deserve. You deserve a better man than I. You deserve a castle, beautiful treasures, and a stable life. I wish to the Goddess that I could give you these things, but I cannot. I am beneath you in every way, my Lady.”_

’” _But do you love me?” Audrea asked, tears streaming down her cheeks._

_’Harlow reached out and gently brushed away the tears on one cheek with his thumb. ”With every breath in my body. I love you so much that the thought of you makes me ache in my soul.”_

_’The Lady embraced her rogue and pressed a soothing kiss to his mouth. “Then I need nothing else.”’_

**Author's Note:**

> I may as well mention this, but Harlow from My Love on Dove’s Wings was heavily inspired by Niles from Fire Emblem Fates. Yeah, my Corrin totally tapped that LOL. Audrea more or less is an amalgamation of various female Fire Emblem characters, such as Guinevere from The Blazing Blade, Olivia from Awakening, and Sakura from Fates, just to name a few.


End file.
